Hope Ever After
by Psalm46.10
Summary: She wasn't pregnant. Was. Not. Pregnant.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there! Thank you for opening this story so that you can discover the adventure my mind has created during our OUAT hiatus. I was doing _so well_ with it until Comic-Con, then a blitz of posts came and my addiction was reborn at full throttle. And this story is the product of that rebirth and my partially sunken Outlaw Queen ship. So before the new season starts (September 28th!), here's a bit of my imagination and hope. Enjoy. :) **

Hope Ever After

Chapter One

She wasn't pregnant. Was. Not. Pregnant. No baby in there, no bun in the oven, not so much as a thought about conception. Except she _was_ thinking about it, because this was the seventh day- in a row mind you- where she'd vomited a completely appealing breakfast into the bathroom at work. Granted it wasn't exactly 'work' anymore, but no one had claimed her black and white office, so on lonely days she still sat in her chair and did governmental stuff like order books for the library and set a monthly budget. Which, she reminded herself now as she wiped her mouth with toilet paper, needed to be revised to include the Zelena damage to that barn. Or Emma/Hook damage, depending on how you looked at it.

"Oh, and we scheduled a family portrait for tomorrow. Since you technically don't 'work' anymore we thought it was alright."

"A family portrait? Seriously?"

"We had family tapestries back home. You can't imagine the torture of sitting still while someone embroidered your image. But they always were very pretty and documented generations of royalty."

"Can we talk about this in a minute? I came to the bathroom for a reason."

"Of course, I'm sorry. I'm just so forgetful-"

Regina sighed and pushed the stall door open, officially silencing her step-daughter. "You always were forgetful."

"Hey-!"

"I wasn't talking to you Emma."

"I don't care, that was extremely rude."

"Organizing a family portrait without telling me is rather rude too, don't you think?"

"I was going to invite you as soon as we found you. Obviously I came to tell Emma and I was going to tell you too, but you weren't in your office-"

"Save it. I burned our family tapestry anyways." She marched out of the bathroom, getting a pump of hand sanitizer in her office before grabbing her bag and starting the walk home.

Oh, she remembered burning that tapestry. Sparks tingled in her palms just thinking about it.

_As soon as Rumple pronounced her fire conjuring satisfactory she'd known what she wanted to do. The first open night she had she snuck from bed and found the welcome hall that housed the current family tapestry. Two open hands on the fringe and a soft glow started. Slowly, the small blaze crept up the cloth, devouring her family's feet and the grass of the garden their stitched forms were positioned in. She stood back and leaned into the shadow of the unoccupied privy doorway, listening to the fire pop, watching the tiny shadows it threw on the stone walls. If a guard came by she could pretend she was just exiting the tiny room after a late-night stroll. But no guard came and she watched as the magical fire licked its lips around the top fringe and disappeared without a whisper of ash._

"Regina?"

She stopped short of running into Robin and his son. Marian, thankfully, was nowhere to be seen, but the couple still had confusingly icy relations and as she stood blinking at him, the awkwardness began in full.

"I was considering coming to see you, but, well, with all that's happened-"

"You got busy." She substituted for him. No doubt enjoying the wife he'd barely gotten back in the Enchanted Forest.

"I missed you." Roland spoke up sweetly, clutching his father's hand but blinking up at her with large brown eyes.

_"Goodnight Mummy." Roland had whispered after Robin's bedtime story and her lullaby._

_ She stood immediately, stepping back from Henry's old bed with fear. "He can't call me that Robin. It's not right." _

_ "You adopted Henry. It's practically the same thing. He doesn't have one anymore." He turned her so their eyes met. "I love you. Why shouldn't he call the woman I love- the first woman in his life that he can actually remember- his mum?" _

She crouched down to his eye level, squatting as elegantly as possible in her stilettos and designer dress. "I missed you too. Has Daddy taken you on any adventures?"

"We showed Mummy the ocean. She liked the sea gulls."

Salty tears sloshed into her eyes and coated her vocal chords. She straightened and looked down. "That's very nice." She turned her eyes up to Robin. "I have to go."

He took her forearm before she could run. "I was hoping-"

She stepped out of his loose grip. "Don't."

"Please Regina."

_You should probably go with him, at least so you can tell him about the baby._ A voice inside her chimed.

_There's no baby._ She responded, doubting her sanity. _Or at least there won't be for long, not with my track record. _

_ You could still hope. _Her feeble good side giving her a pep talk, of course.

_Don't. _The part of her that Rumple and her mother had created spit back. _Just don't. _

**Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment so I can improve my work or correct any mistakes. Have a blessed day.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! I'm quite excited by the positive, wondering feedback from my first chapter and thus gift you with a second installment that will hopefully answer your old questions while posing new ones. As I forgot to do this before the first chapter, I will now say in an umbrella statement that covers all chapters preceding and following this one that I do not own Once Upon A Time or any of the characters and this fanfiction reflects only my personal thoughts. **

Hope Ever After

Chapter Two

But hope, even with a feeble good side, seemed contagious. When after another week of morning trips to the bathroom (for both vomiting and a seemingly shrinking bladder), an acute inability to smell cooking meat and an odd but satisfy-able craving for mushrooms nothing changed, she cornered Tinkerbelle in Granny's, dragged her outside and explained the predicament.

"I don't know whether to be happy for you or-"

"Don't. That's not why I told you. I need you to go to the store and purchase a pregnancy test for me. They're white plastic sticks in a box. They're in the 'feminine care' section."

"And you can't get one because-?"

"Because they know me! One of the dwarves owns the store. Do you know what it would look like for the _Evil Queen _to buy a pregnancy test? He'd tell Snow, who would tell Emma and Henry and so on. As soon as I took it half the town would know."

"And people knowing is bad because-?"

"Because I'll miscarry! I always miscarry! I've lost three babies Tink and the only thing worse than losing a baby is having an entire town know you're pregnant and then not know what to do when that baby dies because your body can't even handle the simple act of creating life because. . ." she trailed off and shook her head, trying to hide the sudden surge of emotion. "Just do it please."

"Sure. I'll bring it to your house?"

"Yes, that'll be fine."

She spent an hour mentally preparing herself. Hope might've gotten the best of her for now, but it would do so no longer. Three prior pregnancies had led to three disappointing losses. That was a fact. The first had been a shock, to wake one morning after what felt like a belly ache only to find bloody sheets and no nausea. She'd locked herself in her private bed chamber for a month to mourn and attempt magical healing to ensure her body didn't fail her again. But it did. With nothing more than two months' worth of hope they'd been travelling on the sea, only to be nearly killed in a storm. The fear caused contractions, which the doctor failed to halt. The third had been the worst though, the child staying inside her for months, even moving once under Snow's small hand. The king had been overjoyed and scheduled an announcement festival and banquet. They opened with the news, standing side by side on the balcony of their palace over a crowd of guests and subjects. A month before her due date, on a slow walk through the garden, she'd felt a pulling sensation, as though her organs might drop between her legs. Assuming the child had developed early, everything was instantly prepared and after ten hours of hard labor, life should've been given.

Her son was stillborn. They buried him beneath her bedroom window, an iris planted at his head to mix the peace of blue and the royalty of purple.

The doorbell rang to interrupt her disheartening mental monologue. She answered in a plain white fitted t-shirt, designer jeans and bare feet. Tink stood before her, a small plastic shopping bag clasped in one hand. Regina let her in without a word and took her wallet from her nearby purse.

"How much was it?"

"He gave it to me for free, since I'm new."

"I'll still repay you for the efforts." She took the small box, read the price tag and handed over the appropriate bills. "Thank you again."

"I'll stay if you want." It was a quiet offering.

Part of her screamed for the company. She'd been alone for days, avoiding Granny's and only walking from work to home. But part of her told her to do this alone, that when the babe's life flailed and left her she wouldn't want useless people hovering over, assuming things because they'd never experienced her particular pain and grief. Everyone in Storybrooke seemed fertile except her.

"If you insist." She turned towards the nearest bathroom, prying the box open and spilling both the test and directions into her hand. _This is it. _

**Thank you for reading! Please leave any comments as a review. I want to become a better writer and one of the most helpful things is feedback. However, please be constructive, not degrading. God bless.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello for the third time my fellow Oncers! I read all of your reviews and am so excited about them. There was mention of longer chapters, but I was afraid to write any too long, as many people don't read fanfiction as a job and have other requirements. However, I'm trying to update with only a few days in-between so that your hunger will be satisfied. After all, this is the closest we'll get to read OUAT magic until September 28th. So sit back, relax, and enjoy another chapter. **

Chapter Three

"You should tell Robin." The suggestion made Regina want to scream. Granted, Tinkerbelle had avoided it for an hour as they sat and sipped tea in silence, the world news playing softly in the background to ward away awkwardness, but she could've suggested it another day. Or never.

"I can't. He has a wife and a son."

"But he still loves you. You're still his true love."

"How is that even _possible_? Have you redone your magic since his wife got un-dead?"

"Of course not, fairy dust is far too precious here to waste like that." She froze. "I mean, it wouldn't be a waste-"

"Don't. I understand what you meant. We need to focus our magic in case something like Zelena happens again."

"I'm sorry Regina. I wish I could. Maybe if I mine it myself-"

"Stop." The former mayor sighed and stood up, pouring her tea down the drain. "Thank you for the company Tink, but I need to be alone now. I have a lot to think about it."

"Good luck with the baby." She made a gesture as if she might hug the brunette, but seemed to change her mind before letting herself out.

Regina sat like a statue for another hour, curled up under a soft blanket on her immaculate white couch that had once served as a table for her and Robin's romantic fireplace lunch. She considered finishing the bottle of wine they'd opened back then, what felt like years ago only being a few painful weeks, but she decided not to increase the chances of miscarriage beyond normal. Three dead babes preceding this one were already terrible odds. Her wine habit (now and again accented with a stress cigarette) would have to be kicked, at least until the inevitable. Then she could smoke and drink to her heart's content. She'd definitely want to. The last times she couldn't, as only cigars could be smoked in the Enchanted Forest and they were terrible, not to mention a drunk queen would've looked deplorable. She shook her head to clear it, snuggled deeper into the couch and wished to forget.

_She saw the blood and screamed. The nearest maids came running in, along with a guard, who froze as soon as he saw the queen was not being attacked. _

_ "M'lady-"_

_ "Get out! Leave and lock the door!" She buried her face in the top sheets, but recoiled when her foot accidently passed through the partially dried blood. Her maids rushed over, pale but curious. "Change the sheets!" She practically lept out of them and backed against the wall as if all her misfortune lay in the red discharge. They twittered forward._

_ "M'lady there's no reason to fear your monthly-" another maid smacked her on the arm and whispered the truth. "Your highness-"_

_ "Don't tell anyone." She felt herself shrinking, changing from twenty years old to ten, from a miscarriage to accidently wetting the bed. "Please, I . . ." she wanted to dissolve in tears and buried her face in the clean sleeves of her bejeweled nightdress, the back sticking to her legs with more blood. _

_ "We must get you cleaned up your majesty. Hazel will stay with you." The younger ones took the once-blanche sheets towards the wash room, concealing the red spot in the folds. _

_ Hazel was the oldest, married to a guard with a daughter of four years. She was in charge, the leader of Regina's chamber maids, and as soon as the subordinate girls left she held out a demanding hand for the soiled nightgown. _

_ "Strip down and then I'll draw a bath. I want to see if any damage has been done."_

_ "Any- damage?" The quiver that had taken over her voice since waking intensified. _

_ "It won't be a rude inspection, nothing more than a doctor would do. My mother was a midwife." _

_ She obliged, staring at the ceiling and wondering whether she should curse God or pray harder. Weekly chapel had obviously gotten her nowhere. _

_ "You should be able to bear another child, should the Lord will it. Consider it a blessing." _

_ "A blessing? I miscarried the first child I've conceived! What if Leopold divorces me? What if he considers it treason?" Her voice was climbing into the hysterical range._

_ "The king shan't. Queen Ava miscarried a child early in their marriage, she was already four months and it was a son. She had much difficulty conceiving the princess."_

_ "But he-" she wanted to say he'd actually loved her, but she couldn't give Hazel gossip. "He was young then. They had time." _

_ "You're still young. Children take root in young soil such as yourself, though not too young. Give yourself time. I married when I was seventeen and miscarried within a year. My body was too young to handle the burden. You're only twenty." _

_ "My mother would consider me an old maid." _

_ "At least you're married. All things come with time. I suggest prayer. That was the only thing that helped me." _

_ She tried to pray, but it didn't help. At night she paced, trying to send thoughts heavenward only to feel as though they bounced off the ceiling and rained back down on her in irony. God's ears were closed to her feeble requests. She'd never had much faith anyways. _

_ The nightmares were worse. She dreamed of waking in blood every time she laid head to pillow. Sometimes ghost children cried or played, but they were always elusively out of reach. Snow attempted to console her, though a twelve year old who hadn't even experienced a monthly bleeding yet understood little. Leopold also tried, but she felt that even he was distance, more absorbed in his growing daughter than his paining wife. When finally he climbed into bed with her again the nightmares increased, as conception seemed to loom dangerously after each experience. She didn't know whether she wanted another or not. _

A car horn startled her awake. The dream of her past felt as thick as the blanket around her shoulders and she shed it to go to bed. Hopefully she wouldn't dream again. She wished she could take medication, but again did not want to increase the miscarriage odds. If the child persisted to grow she'd need to see a gynecologist, but she doubted the baby would stick for so long as to require a visit. After all, she was thirty-seven now, her thirty-eighth birthday looming closer day by day. If she lost children in her younger years surely they wouldn't stay long now.

_You should at least go to the doctor and ask about medication, should you need it. _

_ No need. _She replied to the little voice. _None at all._

**That's all for the next couple days. Again, reviews are always welcome, even from guests. Don't make yourself a stranger. I love all of you and can't wait to read your comments. God bless.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So if you're anything like me your fangirling has gotten even worse as September 28th drags closer. Doesn't it feel like it's taking forever? Pinterest and fanfiction are feeding my addiction, but I long for the real thing. So, if these 'published' works are also sustaining you, please continue reading! I hope this chapter only heightens my previous work.**

Chapter Four

Perhaps there was need. Her morning sickness was increasing in intensity, so much so that as soon as she ate breakfast she ran to the bathroom and stayed there until noon. It didn't help that she was craving breakfast food- hot sauce (but only with eggs), sugary donuts, and sausage (the only cooking meat, besides chicken, she could smell) were the top three. Lunch slowly calmed her stomach, as long as it was simple: grilled cheese with tomato soup, peanut butter and jelly, a grilled chicken sandwich, fruit salad, etc. Generally she was fine after that, though surges of random nausea hit her throughout the day and night. Dairy products became her enemy and the only drinks she could tolerate completely were tea, water and lemonade. The morning sickness was worse than any she'd experienced before, which she should've taken as a hopeful sign, but her depressed state of mind refused it.

Henry dropped by to ask her to go to Granny's and she denied him, claiming illness, at which point he immediately summoned Snow. The young woman took one look at her and commanded Henry to leave the room.

Once the door was secured and they made sure there were no little pitchers with big ears nearby her step-daughter turned on her. "You're pregnant! Why haven't you told any of us? You've been shut up in this house with no one to help you, probably getting sick all morning, and you haven't said a thing. Regina . . ."

"You know I'm going to miscarry." She didn't even meet those vigorous eyes. "Don't you remember?"

She quieted and sat down beside her gently. "I remember the last one."

"Don't. Please Snow, I can't, not now."

It was too late the memories flashed before her like lightning.

_"One more push your highness, just one more and you'll meet your child." The midwife stood at the foot of the bed, her hands between the queen's legs so that when the babe finally came forth he or she would immediately find safety._

_ Regina screamed with effort. It had been an eternity since she'd felt first the pulling sensation in the garden, then the contractions shortly after. The windows proved that a great amount of time had passed- the moon was high, signifying it was midnight. Ten hours since that first feeling around two in the afternoon. _

_ "Please your highness, once more." The midwife begged. _

_ Leopold stood back from the bed, cautioned there should something go wrong. They didn't want him getting in the way. Regina's eyes rolled to meet his as she grabbed the bedpost to steady herself for the 'once more' her child required. Maybe he would finally love her after this. A mother to two of his children, now one biologically. And should this be a son, well, weren't even second-born sons given the right to the crown over first-born daughters?_

_ She was fairly sure that she tore both her vocal chords and her organs as she screamed and pushed her child into the world. The midwife quickly collected the babe, reported excitedly that it was a boy, and took a step towards the nearest washroom while her assistances cleaned the queen. Leopold came over to kiss her sweaty brow in one of the tenderest gestures he'd ever bestowed upon her. _

_ The happy feelings were smashed to bits when the midwife turned back around. "Your highness, your son draws no breath." The frightened woman scurried over and pressed the naked babe to his mother's breast. Regina attempted to suckle him, but it was in vain. No heartbeat could be found beneath anyone's fingers and his chest never inflated with air._

_ At that terrible moment Snow decided to come into the room, having finally succeeded in slipping around the guards. "Regina, Father!" She ran forward triumphantly, gasping with excitement when she saw the child in her step-mother's arms. "A brother or a sister?" Her eyes danced. _

_ Leopold rigidly took her by the arm and pulled her to a corner of the room, where through whispered explanations she learned that she technically did have a brother. But she would never play with, care for or get to know said brother because he was not alive. He might never have been. Perhaps the 'kick' she'd felt was just a natural gurgle of the stomach. Perhaps he'd passed after that. Perhaps the stress of birth had been too much. Only God knew. _

"I'm sorry. But just because you have a bad past doesn't mean you can't be hopeful now. We have new medicine, advanced technology, and magic all combined."

She hated that word: hope. "Three babies Snow. Two before they were even fully formed. Something is wrong with me."

"No there isn't, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten pregnant more than once or gotten pregnant at all. Something in there is working. You need to go to the doctor though, you're looking quite pale."

"I throw up all morning."

"We should go now, to be on the safe side. Maybe they can give you something to prevent a miscarriage. Or suggest some healthy foods that won't make you sick."

Somehow her step-daughter managed to force her from the white mansion and to the equally white and larger hospital, where an 'emergency' appointment with Dr. Whale (who was apparently ever type of doctor under the sun) was made. Promptly the man came into the room, looking as rushed as always.

"Regina, Mary Margaret, what can I do for you?"

"She's pregnant-"

"I can speak for myself Snow." She glared, a lightning flash of anger sparking through her before she settled on the examination table and turned to the man she hated yet needed. "Yes, I'm pregnant. And if a word of it gets around town I will ruin you beyond belief. Now, I'm going to miscarry. I've lost three babies in the past, two early miscarriages and one stillborn at eight months. I," she glanced at the young woman seated in the uncomfortable chair beside her, "_Snow_, was hoping you could help. Or at least lessen my morning sickness."

He took the paragraph in with the suave demeanor that could only belong to a doctor. "I see. Well, there are certainly some dietary suggestions I can make for the morning sickness, along with a few medications, but I'm always hesitant to prescribe anything to expecting or nursing mothers. As to your first request, that's much more difficult."

"Can't you do anything?" Snow had bolstered her up, made her believe in this world's medicine and its miraculous qualities. Reality was moving in like a frightful storm. She longed to retreat back to her house and pretend this never happened. Surely he'd tell her it was hopeless, she would miscarry and secure her fate of a lonesome life peppered with a child that wasn't even hers.

"There are few things that can prevent the inevitability of nature. Considering your track record your odds of a fully developed child delivered on time are slim. The most I can suggest with clear conscience is bed rest."

"With clear conscience?" Snow piped up. "I'm confused. You're a _doctor. _This world has thousands of medicines. Surely there must be something-"

"I've heard of nothing concrete that can protect a woman's womb. Every once and a while there's claim of a miracle drug that can supposedly do something similar, but those are generally untested and dangerous, especially for pregnant women. I'm sorry." He sighed, a mixture of pity and anxiety. "Is that all? I have a pressing surgery beginning soon."

"That's all. Can you tell me your suggestions about the morning sickness again?"

Snow ordered her on bed rest as they walked out of the hospital. "If it's his only recommendation then I consider it mandatory."

"How can I possibly be on bed rest at my house? Everything's downstairs-"

"You'll move in with us. Henry just found an apartment for him and Emma. It's the perfect time. And being around little Neal will make plenty of positive baby energy. Maybe he'll help convince yours to live and see the world."

"I cannot impose on that. You and Charming-"

"Would be delighted to have you. At the least we can consider you a live-in babysitter."

"I am _not _a babysitter."

"You can at least help me then."

And so everything was decided and arranged as if Snow had waved a magic wand. Regina moved into Mary Margaret's old bed so she wouldn't have to use the stairs and her step-daughter and step-son-in-law moved seamlessly upstairs, as did little Neal, who took a great liking to his attic nursery.

Because of the move Henry and Emma were informed and Regina prayed they'd hold their tongues. Henry was ecstatic, seeming to misunderstand that her and Robin's relationship had frozen in time. Emma murmured an unenthusiastic 'congratulations,' her eyes heavy with guilt. If she'd never brought Marian back things would be much happier for the expectant mother.

Neither she nor Snow mentioned the miscarriage odds.

**I'm indebted to you, my fabulous reader! Again, comments are appreciated. Writers need constructive criticism! Please enjoy your day. God bless.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! So sorry it's been such a long time since I updated, but school has taken over my life for the past couple weeks. Anywho, I hope you haven't forgotten what's been going on, because this chapter has quite a plot twist at the end. Enjoy!**

Chapter Five

Condemned to bed, her mind wandered constantly. She thought and dreamed of both the baby and Robin, wondering how both were doing. Her step-daughter ordered her to take daily naps and insisted Regina should only leave bed for thirty minutes a day. Henry graciously ate dinner on the bed with her, having made her plate exactly how she would've done years ago when it had been just the two of them. Snow made her special ginger tea to help her nausea and Emma took to avoiding her parents' apartment. Henry whispered that she felt guilty and asked over and over about her and Robin.

Vague answers wouldn't pacify him, so finally she confessed with a quiet, "We're taking a break."

His eyes nearly popped out of his head as he took a bite of spaghetti. "Is he upset about the baby?"

"I don't know. After Marian got back-"

"You haven't told him?" His voice raised a pitch and those at the table glanced over at the normally quiet corner. Emma rose slightly to peak over her father's head at the situation.

"I can't Henry, his wife is back and his son is happy. They're _all _happy. I can't make a mess of that."

"He deserves to know." He ground his teeth together, the jawline tightening like his father's.

She felt her opinion shrinking and looked unappealingly down at her plate. "I know."

"Henry, why don't you come back over here?" Emma suggested. "Your grandparents want to hear about New York."

"I'm thirteen; I know when you're trying to get me out of a situation." He stood and went over, replacing his birthmother, who replaced Henry in a crisscross position on the foot of the bed, precariously balancing her plate on her knee so she could have a sip of wine. Lucky lady.

"I'm sorry Regina."

"Are you going to apologize every time you see me? It's getting annoying." She swirled the tomato-coated noodles around her fork and popped them in her mouth. If her stomach wasn't so sensitive she would've asked for alfredo. It'd been a long time since she'd made such a fattening thing, but now she had a craving for it. Pasta always made her want alfredo.

"I just- I'm the reason you and Robin-"

"You are most certainly the reason Robin and I are history. But you've already apologized and my already short temperature is shortening as we speak, so I suggest you either actually do something about it or drop it. Do you understand?"

She shut up, a silent 'yes' hanging in the air. Snow was desperately trying to keep the table in conversation by discussing Henry's favorite video game for the fifth time, but everyone could tell the situation was slowly becoming an atom bomb. Regina angrily threw off the covers and marched to the sink, allowed her plate to clatter (but not break) in the sink before slamming the restroom door shut.

A half hour later she was crying in a ball in her bed, Snow attempting to comfort her. "What am I going to do? Henry's right. If the baby's okay then I'm going to have to tell him and even if it's not he deserves to know that there was one." Another confused sob forced its way out of her and she shoved her face in her pillow. "What am I going to do?"

"I'll arrange a meeting. He'll come here and the two of you can talk without his wife being suspicious."

"But then he'll have to choose! What am I going to do if he doesn't choose me? If I actually have the baby I'll never be able to show my face in town again. Everyone knows we were in a relationship. Everyone will know the baby is his. And then he'll walk by with his un-dead wife and cute little son and they'll think I'm a whore."

"They will think no such thing. At worst they'll pity you. At best they'll see how strong you are."

And just as Regina opened her mouth to reply, Emma burst in, accompanied by a strong, freezing wind and a young woman the brunette barely recognized.

"Elsa?"

**Thanks for reading! Leave me some criticism and God bless. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Did you like the end of that one? I was rather proud of it. I went on for four chapters about Regina and Robin and a baby and all that and then- BOOM!- Elsa. I thought it was appropriate, considering how they're making the Frozen-OUAT mash-up such a big deal. Now I don't have too much homework tonight, so I shall bestow upon you another chapter. Enjoy!**

Chapter Six

They sat at the table with steaming cups of tea, Elsa's handle freezing as soon as she tried to pick it up. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Snow took an awkward sip.

"Where did you come from?" The former Evil Queen questioned.

"I was imprisoned as water in a trophy in the Dark One's vault. I tried to slosh out multiple times and then suddenly I could. I was in this dilapidated barn. I've been hiding in the woods for a little while. I walked as far as I could and when I got tired I stopped and built a small cottage out of ice and after resting I tried to formulate a plan. At first I just waited for someone to find me because that would be easier but after a week passed I decided to at least figure out where I was. Apparently I got myself lost. I just found myself at the edge of a road this morning and followed it to an orange line that I decided shouldn't be crossed, so I turned around and walked back. She was the first person I passed." She nodded at Emma, lifted the cup to her lips and took a regal sip.

"I thought it was best to bring her here. I thought you might know her."

"I-I heard about you." Snow offered. "I knew you ruled in a northern kingdom and then everyone started different rumors when you disappeared. Your sister and her husband-"

"My sister got _married_?"

"Yes, a young man named Hans proposed shortly after your departure. I believe I had to go into hiding before the wedding though."

"Is she here? Emma explained the two curses."

Snow looked at Regina. "She'd here. She's very quiet. She's eighteen now and just moved out of foster care and in with her boyfriend. The first curse renamed her Erin and him Liam."

"They're- happy?" She took another sip of tea and a rosy glow turned her icy skin into human flesh.

"I suppose." Snow continued, but Regina held up her hand.

"Can you control your magic?"

"Um- not really. That's what I went to Rumple for, after you suggested him, but he thought I was too powerful and locked me up."

"Never mind then."

"What?" Her head swiveled between the former queen, current queen and savior-princess. "If it's about Anna then I need to know. You have to tell me." The whole cup froze in her hand, the tea no longer a steaming liquid but slush.

"You'll freeze everything solid. It's for everyone's better good."

"No! You have to tell me! She's all that I have! If something's wrong-" her chair froze underneath her.

"_That _is why I cannot tell you Elsa."

"If you don't tell me right now I _will _freeze the whole town."

Snow and Emma stared at her, bug-eyed. Regina looked from them to the distressed pale blonde, said a prayer that she would not become an ice sculpture and said, "Liam is abusive."

Ice particles shot out of her heart like a flash of lightning and snow flurries began to fall inside. Upstairs, Charming cursed and little Neil started crying. Next door someone screamed. Outside a snowflake-filled wind beat the windows. The three looked accusingly at Elsa.

"I'm sorry, I just- if I'd been there none of this would've happened and now I have to find her and I'm getting really emotional and I just couldn't stop myself." And before they could say anything she ran from the room, her sheer blue train nearly getting caught in the door.

"Well that was just great. Thanks Regina, for ruining yet another-"

"You're blaming me for telling her the truth? Put yourself in Anna's position! Her sister is finally here to save her. She has hope. If you're too blind to see the good in this then you're positively stupid."

"It's snowing _indoors_. We've barely gotten out of winter and now you've gotten us back in the middle of it!"

"Stop it, both of you!" Mary Margaret held up her hands. "This is not a time to argue. Regina, I know you were doing the right thing by telling her, but Emma is somewhat correct that you could've told her nicely or waited a bit. Now we have a ginormous problem to deal with. Hopefully we can just find her and get her to reverse it, but if she really can't control her magic we'll have to deal with Rumple. Now you stay here-"

"I am _not _staying here. Of the three of us I am the only one who actually knows her and-"

"You are on bed rest!" Mary Margaret thundered. "You will stay here while we go find her, talk to her and get back the closest thing to summer Maine will ever know."

"No!"

The short woman sucked in a breath and glared up at her. "If you keep getting this emotional you are going to miscarry the closest thing to true love's baby you will ever get. Now go back to bed, we'll call you when we can."

"Fine." The first sentence made her want to both scream and cry and the second order was so forceful she could only submit. Emma's eyebrows raised and she prayed that the blonde would take 'miscarry' as an empty threat, an attempt to scare her. If Snow told her her history she would kill her. "If anything happens-"

"We'll get Gold." Emma shrugged on a coat and handed one to her mother. "Come on."

**There's always gotta be a Emma-Regina fight, you know? Can't let it all go yet, can we? (I hope you got that Frozen reference). Thank you again for reading. Leave me some feedback. God bless. :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! Hope that was a bit of a shocker. But also predictable, depending on how you think of Elsa and her powers/emotions. Don't be mad about the Anna-Hans abuse thing. I couldn't kill her, but she needed to be in danger in order for Elsa to take heroic sister action. Consider it plot development. Enjoy this chapter! It'll take a step backwards for a bit, but we'll get back to Frozen, don't worry. :) **

Chapter Seven

Charming came downstairs right when she was sliding back into bed. "What happened? Where are Snow and Emma?"

"Elsa showed up out of nowhere and set off a surprise winter after I told her something about her sister. Snow and Emma went after her."

"And you're just going back to bed?"

She glared at him. "On your wife's orders."

He squinted at her suspiciously and rearranged his fussy son in his arms. "Fine." He licked his lips, looked around the chilly apartment, and then took a step towards her. "Would you be willing to watch Neil while I go help?"

She sighed. "Why not?" Ten minutes later the prince was bundled into his winter gear and locking the door, baby Neil sucking on her finger as she wrapped the two of them in Snow's old quilt. "Well little one, I guess it's just the two of us for now." And that's when the child inside her gave two feeble kicks.

"Really, two kicks? That's wonderful!" Tinkerbelle squealed with excitement. "Isn't that such a good sign?"

"No, the last time my baby kicked he ended up still-born and buried in the garden under my window."

"Oh." She was silent for a minute. "Well, perhaps we can take this as a good sign anyways."

"I suppose." She looked down at sleeping Neil, finally warm in her arms. "It's dangerous to hope Tink. I'm afraid."

"I know. It must not be easy. I've never had a baby, so I wouldn't know. I'll do everything I can to help you though. Is there anything you need?"

"No. Snow put me on bed rest and insisted I stay with her and Charming. I'm babysitting Neil while they work on this surprise winter."

"I was going to ask about that. What happened?"

She explained and then Tink said she had to go, complaining that the weird door handle was hurting her ear. She promised to visit once the nice weather returned and hung up, leaving Regina to once again lie in bed and contemplate the life growing inside her, just like all those years ago.

She needed to call Robin. With everyone gone it was the perfect opportunity and she had taught him how to use a phone. Presumably he was still at Granny's and wouldn't be overheard at the back stairs payphone, but with his wife around she needed to be cautious.

But with the third kick bumping under her hand she persuaded herself to dial the diner-hotel, conversed quietly with a sympathetic Red (who thought the call was only about their tumultuous relationship, not a newly-conceived life), and before she knew it was stumbling over saying 'hello' to the love of her new life. Neil gurgled in her lap and she placed a kiss on the babe's forehead as Robin whispered his own greeting.

"It's you. I-I didn't know your phone number and after we met in the street I thought it was best to-"

"Don't. I need you to come over to Snow's apartment. I can give you directions."

"Is something wrong?"

"I'll explain when you get here. Is the weather too bad yet?"

"I've been through worse."

The call ended without a goodbye.

The fifteen minutes it took him to arrive felt like eternity. She remembered sneaking out and waiting to meet Daniel and how a similar sensation would fill her. What if he wasn't coming? If he forgot or changed his mind? Her very soul seemed to hang in those minutes, those tiny ticks of a clock that with every passing second seemed to mock her. Another minute gone by and still nothing, look at her, the loving fool!

_The loving fool with a baby in her belly_ she corrected this time. Mockery might as well be accurate. Neil squirmed and she re-arranged him just as a soft knock touched the door. _So much for only thirty minutes on my feet. _

She walked carefully to the door, unlocking it while balancing her step-grandson in one arm. The child seemed unaware of his danger, that if he wiggled just an inch to the left or right he might tumble and meet a hard floor head first. Children always seemed to live like that. As soon as the lock turned and she twisted the knob she returned her arm to its proper place. She would not be accused of improper childcare on the verge of biological motherhood.

"Hi." His accent made the word melt around her. How many times had they exchanged such simple greetings?

The world spun too quickly on its axis to contain all she felt and needed to say, so she satisfied herself with "Hi. Come in."

They sat at the table and she hoped he didn't see the wrinkle of her jeans and t-shirt. She'd estimated her pregnancy to be about three months along and already jeans were biting into her flesh and fitted t-shirts had to stretch to cover everything properly. Not to mention bed rest wrinkled her clothes and Snow wouldn't let her iron anything ('too heavy').

"How have you been?" He kept his jacket on, but she was mentally peeling away the layers, wishing they could be tucked warmly under her thick sheets at home.

"_I love you so much." Robin whispered, kissing her passionately. Daniel kissed her as if she were made of glass. This man over her kissed with the passion of an affair, as if every moment was stolen and important and special. She doubted that she'd ever felt more loved._

_ "I love you too. I don't think I've ever loved someone more in my entire life." She hoped she didn't sound like a fool, saying things like that, but apparently she didn't, because it only made his touch more passionate and their lips tingly with added ecstasy. _

_ They did their best to be quiet, as Roland was just down the hall, but how could they deny themselves the sounds of pleasure? This was their first time __being __together and she was certain a similar sensation had never been known on all the earth._

"Fine. I've been staying here for a little while because . . . some stuff came up." He cocked an eyebrow and she looked down at little Neil, his large baby eyes blinking at her and giving her the courage to confess. "I'm pregnant."

Now the world spun too slowly. Noise travelled through air as thick as molasses and movement slackened to match it. If only he would say something! She dared a glance up to at least gauge his facial features and found she couldn't even translate those. Even his eyes- those deep gorgeous windows- were unreadable.

"Robin?" She seemed to have swallowed her voice; it squeaked out of her stomach and made baby Neil giggle.

"Regina, I-I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I love you." He risked a glance at her eyes, those sparkling chocolate jewels. "But I love Marian too."

Of course he loved Marian too. She would always love Daniel. But unlike Marian, Daniel had not survived his return from the dead. If only he had.

"I know you do. And you deserve to be happy. I'm sorry I'm ruining it-"

"You could never ruin my happiness Regina."

"Then I'm ruining your family, you can't debate that. But there's more." Again he cocked an eyebrow, his silent way of questioning. A man who knew the price of words. Sweet Hades she loved him. "I might miscarry. I've lost three babies in the past. That's why I'm here; Snow put me on bed rest on Dr. Whale's recommendation. We're hoping that will help him or her." She paused, licked her lips, and added tentatively, "I felt three gentle kicks today."

"Well then that must be a good sign."

She shrugged and rearranged her arms under Neil so that he smiled up at her. Would she get this opportunity with the child she was carrying now? "The still-born one, my last one, kicked once."

"Marian had a miscarriage before she had Roland. Although that was probably from the guard punching her in the stomach and shoving her to the ground." He paused at the memory but quickly re-started his reassurance. "But still-" He couldn't finish his sentence because she had shoved Neil in his arms and was running to the bathroom heaving.

There was only one type of guard that would punch a woman in the stomach and shove her to the ground. One of hers.

She had allowed a miscarriage of an innocent woman. In her own pain and suffering she had permitted someone else to go through the same thing. Murder. That's what she'd done, endorsing her guard's un-discriminatory violence. She had robbed her future lover of two beautiful children. Stolen from him, in a sense. And this pregnancy, this child blossoming inside her and possibly ruining both of their lives, was payback. Whatever person perched himself in Heaven truly did extract revenge, like the (Catholic) nun-fairies had once told her. She wouldn't be surprised if she died in childbirth or had twins at this rate.

But first she had to vomit her dinner.

**This wasn't filler, I promise! I hope you enjoyed. A meeting had to happen sometime, so why not throw it in with all the other crud that's going on? The actual show does it all the time in my opinion. Please leave critism. God's blessings. 3**


	8. Chapter 8

**Now here's some fluff to improve your day. You'll have to wait a bit for some more Elsa action, but OUAT jumps between story lines all the time, so you'll survive. And the show is back in 3 days! Not counting today and Sunday. I hope this has helped your hiatus like it's helped mine. :)**

In the past she would've never gotten physically sick because of the torments her guards imposed. Obviously the person had deserved it. But with her change to light magic she had also become surprisingly sensitive (although that might've been the pregnancy too) and thus she _felt _everything. She felt bad for the woman who had lost a child because of her rough orders and boisterous men. She _regretted _it. Regrets were new to her as well.

"Regina?" Robin knocked on the door softly. "I'll make you some tea. You showed me how, remember?"

Of course she remembered, the immiscible! She remembered every moment they'd spent together in vivid detail. Sometimes they would kaleidoscope together in a dizzy mixture of the senses- splashes of Enchanted Forest colors combined with his touch in her mansion bedroom and the sound of his voice echoing through Storybrooke's woods. And Lesson Day, when she had taught him all she could about this world, that memory swirled within the others.

_"This is a stove. A small fire lights here," she turned it on, "and then you can set things on top of this grate so that you can cook. I make tea this way. That machine over there does coffee, but not tea." _

_ "Alright." He paused. "Let me try. I'll make you some tea."_

"Put ginger in it."

"Sure."

"You can put Neil on the bed, or his bassinet is upstairs."

"Alright."

She sucked down slow, cold breaths, trying to calm her stomach. At least she'd closed the door. God forbid Robin see her look so revolting. She probably already was though, compared to Marian. Screw his claim of second chances. She'd always been hopeless.

He knocked a short while later and she shakily opened the door, taking the cup from his hand without a word and taking a sip. She didn't notice how effortlessly he was holding Neil until she nearly finished.

"Oh. I thought you'd want to put him up. I'm sorry I shoved him at you, I just-"

"I understand." He bounced the child effortlessly so that his laugh filled the tiny bathroom. "He's sweet. And I was afraid he'd get too cold by himself. Have you tried turning the heat on?"

"No. I was hoping this would be temporary."

"I turned it on. You're supposed to be on bed rest, right?"

"Yes." She took another deep breath and pulled herself up on the edge of the sink, going back to the bed under her lover's watchful eye. He continued to hold the baby and she wondered if he would ever hold the one now stirring inside her. She touched her side and the child responded. "Do you want to feel?"

"Of course." He sat on the edge of the bed, far enough for proprieties sake, but close enough that his rough, warm palm could glide over her shirt and feel the product of their love.

She placed her hand on top of his and risked another look into his eyes. "What are we going to do?" The fear was back, turning the world at different angles at different speeds.

"I-," He swallowed, "I don't know."

"I'm scared." She could feel the sting of tears behind her eyes. "I don't want to go through this alone. Not a miscarriage or a birth." She swallowed a hiccup. "Or a life."

He didn't say anything. What was there to say? _"I'm sorry I knocked you up and I wish I could stay but I can't because my wife is back from the dead and it would be wrong to leave her. Not to mention I already have a kid with her." _

"I want to have a family with you. I want to be with you. But everything is so complicated right now and I don't know what to do. I'll figure something out though, I promise." He kissed her forehead. "Can I tell her about the baby?"

She shook her head. "She'll be furious. And if I lose it-"

"She'll need to know why I'm spending so much time away from her. She deserves to know. That way the three of us can work something out."

She was too tired to argue. "Fine." She sighed. "You can go now. I'm going to go to sleep. I'm exhausted."

"Of course." He put Neil back in her arms and pulled the blankets up around the two. "I love you Regina. No matter what happens, I love you."

She smiled faintly. "I love you too."

He let himself out.

**Note the last line. Could be foreshadowing, couldn't it? *wiggle eyebrows* I love being an author. All of you are at my mercy! *cackle* Well, leave a review (as always) so I can improve. Lots of love and God bless.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so I didn't have much time to publish the rest of this fanfiction before the premiere, so from now on it's going to be different. But hopefully a good different. This chapter is full of Frozen characters for all you who think that Frozen is the best thing to happen to TV since OUAT Season 1. Enjoy!**

_"Oh Regina, can I feel the baby? I'll be gentle, I promise." Snow had begun the first years in between childhood and womanhood, but her fascination with the tiny life growing inside her stepmother proved she wasn't beyond childish excitement. "Please?" She blinked her slowly maturing eyes up at her. _

_ "He or she hasn't done anything yet, but I suppose you can try." She took the pale hand and guided it softly over her belly until a small kick met their joined palms. They gasped together and for a second the hatred she had for Snow thawed. If she closed her eyes she could pretend Snow was her own, a product of her and Daniel, and the child now inside her was the same thing. The first two losses had never happened. They were going to be happy. _

_ "I wish your mother was here. She'd be very excited to be a grandmother. She was rather nice to me." _

_ The thawing reversed itself. Her mother- who had murdered Daniel because of this child's foolish tongue? Never. She would never let her mother near any child ever again. Corruption and evil and sick magic flowed out of her and ruined every person and thing she touched. Her father. Herself. Snow. And the baby she carried now, if she were allowed. _

_ "I don't know about that Snow. Sometimes she wasn't the kindest mother. I hope to do much better than her." _

_ "I know you will." She smiled and hugged her. _

_ Sure she did, letting that baby die inside her. So much better._

"Snow?" She started awake and half expected to see the young princess in her sparkling nightgown. But the room was empty, somewhat heated, and her step-grandson was still in her arms. Snow, Charming and Emma were nowhere to be seen. And it was dark outside.

_You have to go after them. _Her good side said, and she remembered the Jiminy Cricket from Disney's Pinocchio. _They might need help. You could leave Neil with Mother Superior. _

_ I'm on bed rest. What about __my__ baby? _She wasn't sure if that was her bad sign necessarily. More like her selfish side. Yet after several minutes of debate she got up, bundled the child and herself up, and stepped into the cold stairwell. Neil stirred, but she held him tighter and carefully descended the icy steps, driving her car to the church that the nun-fairies still lived at.

Mother Superior answered after several rapid knocks. "Ms. Mills." She was rubbing sleep from her eyes and dressed in a thick navy robe.

"I need you to take Neil. I've been watching him for Snow and Charming, but they haven't been back for hours. I'm going to go look for them."

"Do you need help?"

Did she? A pregnant woman, alone, in these dark frigid streets certainly did, especially if Elsa was still out of control.

"You can come if you want, so long as Neil is looked after."

"There are plenty of women here who can do the job. Come inside while I get changed. I'll find someone."

They paced the wintry streets quietly, Regina longing to hold the baby inside her to give it more protection from the cold but being too self-conscious. Mother Superior didn't know and she was trying to keep the number of knowledgeable townspeople to a minimum. She tallied everyone who knew in her head while knocking on doors that no one would open. Or it was frozen shut so they couldn't. _Snow, Dr. Whale, Henry, Emma, Charming, and Robin, who had probably told Marian by now. _That was six or seven people. _Still controllable _she told herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted by shouts and an icy blast from further up the sidewalk. Shadows moved on the dimly lit lawn in a group, everyone calling to one another so that no one was understood. Mother Superior ran ahead holding a magical shield in case any icy particles came flying, but Regina contented herself to a brisk walk. If there was any ice she could slip and hurt herself and/or the baby.

The circle was made of the rest of what she supposed was her family: Henry (Emma must've gotten him), Emma, Snow and Charming. In the middle of the circle was an Anna/Erin ice sculpture and Hans/Liam arguing around her while Elsa both screamed back and sobbed. Henry was trying to get his cracking thirteen-year-old voice to carry over the twenty-something adults while Emma held him back, Snow called out to Elsa and Charming tried to talk to Hans.

Mother Superior bravely stepped to the middle and all noise halted. "What's happened here?" She looked at all of them, welcoming all answers. The group glanced at each other until Elsa fell at the nun-fairy's feet.

"I froze her! I was trying to hurt him," she pointed so fiercely at Hans that he had to dunk a shot of sleet, "because he hurt her. He's abusive! He deserved it!" Her body racked with a sob. "But she jumped in the way."

"I would never hurt her! Just because a random person thought they saw something-"

"How dare you." Regina stepped forward with blazing eyes. "I saw the bruises you lying scoundrel." She would've called him a much worse word but not in the presence of Henry or with a baby in her. Babies could hear, right? "And I was in a bad relationship too. I can recognize them. You were hurting her. Now that there was someone who actually had enough claim to her as to help I had to tell them."

He was glaring daggers at her and she could practically feel the impalement until Mother Superior stepped between them. "We'll address that problem later. Right now we need to restore Anna."

And for the next fifteen minutes they attempted to thaw or melt the young woman to no avail. To further prove her point about the relationship Regina pointed out that Hans seemed very unemotional, unless you considered the hate he had for both her and Elsa. Elsa was beside her, attempting to learn the warm magic Blue tried to teach and only sobbing harder when she failed. Regina finally stepped forward to offer tutelage, remembering her own shift from dark to light.

"Being warm has to be your own decision." She spoke quietly to the blonde. "Most magical decisions have to be made out of love. Not fear or anger or hatred." She sighed. "Trust me; I've tried all those things. I tried to be good for other people, to please others. But that didn't work. Not until I truly wanted to change, because I loved my son and-" she thought about cutting Robin from her soliloquy, but he stayed. "And a wonderful man." She paused so she could look deep into her younger friend's eyes. "Do you love your sister?"

"More than anything." She hiccupped around more tears. "I never meant to hurt her. I was just so angry at him-"

"Let it go. Let all the anger at him or Rumple or whoever else go. Focus on what you want, not what you've lost." She recalled all the feelings that soared through her during her own magical metamorphosis. She wanted to be dark so she could hurt Zelena, but that was overwhelmed by her love for Robin and Henry. And once that love triumphed her darkness she chose, for herself and for them, to be permanently good. And that's when her magic changed. She let everything Zelena had done to her- everything anyone had ever done to her- go. So she could be a better person for herself, a better mother to Henry and a better part of her and Robin's relationship. "This decision will change everything Elsa, but I promise it will be for the better."

"I can't change though. No one ever taught me how to use my magic properly. How can I possibly-"

"Someone here will teach you. All of us- even me- have light magic. We can help you. Now try to unfreeze your sister, but do it because you love her, forgetting everything else."

They all held their breath, collectively waiting for the miracle that Regina's beautiful speech insured.

But Anna stayed frozen and all Elsa did was collapse in sobs into the heightening snowbanks. After a hushed discussion they persuaded everyone to go back to the apartment for a 'break' and Charming would use his pickup to carefully bring Anna along.

"She's too emotional right now." Snow whispered to her step-mother as they walked, Emma silently leading the way with Henry and Charming as Elsa and Hans walked like prisoners between them. "Even with a break. Could you maybe . . ." her voice trailed off guiltily, "knock her out for a little while?"

"What? If anything that'd only make her more upset. And how on earth would we explain that when she woke up?"

"I'm just trying to help her Regina. Sleep helps."

"Sleep, yes. Being magically knocked unconscious, no."

"Fine." She licked her lips. "Sleeping potion?"

"Absolutely not! What's gotten into you?"

"She's very challenging and emotional and I don't know how to deal with her."

"Well how did you deal with me? I was an uncontrollable emotional sorceress once upon a time."

"We fought a war, banished you and ended up living under your curse for twenty-eight years."

"Thanks for the memories." She sighed. "Alright, I'll work with her. Maybe if I give her some magic training she'll feel more comfortable and be able to thaw her sister. If that doesn't work we're getting Rumple."

Luckily, Elsa fell asleep from exhaustion soon after they suggested sitting on the couch. Hans angrily stalked about the kitchen, refusing both tea and hot chocolate. Mother Superior helped magically bring frozen Anna upstairs into the frigid apartment and Henry, as only a boy still partially stuck in childhood could do, not only spoke to her (informing her of everything and why it was happening) but got her a blanket. His argument: 'when we unfreeze her she'll probably be really cold.' They all ended up falling asleep to Henry's whispers.

**I hope this chapter appeases you who've been asking for longer pieces. Please leave a review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**So I'll be honest, this is kind of a filler chapter. But it's got a quick blast of excitement, so I hope that will appease you. I'll do my best to update again soon, so you're not left hanging. Enjoy!**

But they woke up to Elsa's screams. Regina was the first to react, throwing a magical shield out so that anyone standing fell over, including Anna's statue and Hans. Hans, who was clutching a bloody knife that had just been plunged into his sister-in-law's chest.

He attempted to regain his balance, but Charming shoved him to the floor, his knife spinning away so Emma could commandeer it. Regina ran to the bleeding woman's side.

She was gasping at life, tears of pain leaking out and freezing on her pale face, somehow turning paler from the blood loss. The couch she was laying on was developing a frost and once again snowflakes were blowing through the air.

"I'm going to try to heal you." She looked into the quickly-dulling aquamarine eyes. "And it's going to hurt." She laid a bare hand in the sticky mess on the woman's chest and had to force herself not to flee and vomit. This woman needed her. "Stay still." And with as much force as she could muster she beamed magic into the wound, only causing Elsa to scream more, clutching and trying to remove the hand and its powerful aid. "Stay still!" She forced more in and then collapsed back on the pillows, exhausted, her heart pounding and the baby inside her dancing. "Talk to me."

But Elsa was just moaning, clutching a hole in her chest that wasn't there until Snow laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You're okay. Do you want to try and help your sister?"

Reinvigorated by her near-death experience the blonde stumbled towards the ice statue, halting in front of it and shooing Henry away after he stood her back up. They watched from the back as she held up two shaking hands and pushed beams of light at her frozen sister, who promptly thawed and collapsed.

"Anna!" Hans tried to rush forward but it was Elsa who caught her and cradled the ginger head in her lap.

"Oh Anna." She touched her forehead to her sister's and the cold evaporated from the air. "I love you so much, I'm so sorry."

"I love you too." Came a weak whisper from the floor.

And that's when Regina knew what she had to do.

**Leave a review please! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**This is one of my favorite chapters. You might be mad or sad or understanding. That's your decision and response. But I think we can agree that no matter what, this situation is complicated and there are a hundred different 'happy' endings. Thank you for sticking with me. I only have about two chapters left.**

When Anna and Elsa were officially moved into Granny's and Hans was safely in jail under constant Emma-Charming vigilance, Regina made her way back to bed, baby Neil asleep in his mother's arms for the first time that night, and Henry curled up on the couch. She tried to fall asleep to the sound of her son's even breaths, but eventually she sat up in defeat. All she could think about was what she had to do.

She met Robin on a bench on the dock, too afraid of the memories on their bench in the forest, the once again spring air playing with her hair as the salt water coated her nose. His own uncut locks shifted with the wind and he seemed to cherish the smell of the sea. It only made her think about the second loss.

_"The sky is getting darker your highness, it'd be best for the two of you to get below deck." A ship hand suggested. _

_ She decided to go to bed early, being suspicious of the weather and worried about the child that was possibly inside her. She'd skipped a monthly bleeding and should've had another last week. The boat was bobbing normally when Leopold climbed in beside her._

_ But soon she was violently thrown from the bed by a tossing sea. Above her she could hear the orders of the crew calling out to one another and trying to preserve life. There was a frantic yell of 'man overboard' as water gushed through the cracks of the wooden boards. And in that moment the reality of death hit her with all the force of a charging horse. Crying, she buried her face in the blanket and wondered how it would happen. Drowning from all the water pouring in from overhead? A snapped neck from crashing into the wall or ceiling or bed? Such violent seasickness that she threw up blood and died of blood loss? Get lost at sea and died from dehydration/starvation? _

_ And then an even worse possibility began. Violent, painful cramping far beyond that of a normal monthly cycle. Something similar to the contractions she'd heard other women describe. _

_ She grabbed for Leopold's hand, as he was the only company around. But oh, how she wished Daniel or her mother or father was there._

_ "I-I think I'm going into labor. I might be pregnant. Or I'm just seasick. But- I'm scared. I'm so scared." Another ripe of pain ran through her and she verbally cried out. _

_ In a moment of tenderness that she never forgot, he pulled her head into his lap, brushing the loose hair out of her face, and looked into her eyes. "You're going to be alright. No matter what happens, you are __not__ going to die. We need you. Snow needs you." She also never forgot how he never stated that he, independent of his daughter, needed her. _

_ And yet, in that moment she might've loved him. She was never sure though, because within a minute another wave of pain washed over her. _

_ Hours later, the storm still howling, the doctor apologizing in defeat, a tiny form slipped from between her legs, awash in blood. The doctor moved to remove the tiny thing immediately, but Regina stopped him. _

_ "Just let me," and too overcome for words she simply gestured. _

_ He gently placed the babe in the palm of her hand, so miniscule that she had to squint to see the end of her skin and the beginning of her child. _

_ Leopold wrapped the product of their marriage (she couldn't very well call it love) in his fanciest handkerchief and the next morning, in the midst of a calm sea, they watched the tiny white blur sink away to a watery grave. _

_ She vomited throughout the following two days and everyone called it seasickness. _

"Did you hear me Regina?"

She blinked and traced a line down the center of her stomach. "N-no, I'm sorry."

"I asked if you were okay."

_I'll never be 'okay' again_, she thought, all the painful memories of her life- including this one- sliding through her brain in a cruel kaleidoscope. "We have to talk."

He tried to smile. "I assumed that, since you asked to meet me privately."

"Robin please." She couldn't handle that right now. "Just listen and then everything can go back to normal."

His eyes squinted slightly, suspicious of what her 'normal' was. "Okay."

"You don't have to worry about me and the baby. I want you to go with your family and be happy."

The scene from the previous night swam before her eyes again. Elsa loved Anna enough that had Hans not been abusive, she would've let them stay together happily. Because he was, she rescued her sister, not because she wanted Anna to herself, but because she loved her sister enough to do the right thing for her. Robin was in a good relationship that did not require interrupting. And because she wanted what was best for not only him, but also Roland and- she grit her teeth- Marian, she would allow them to be a family. She would do what was best for other people, just as Elsa did. Because Elsa couldn't thaw her sister until she was sure that Hans was the less safe choice. She couldn't thaw Anna until she realized that she had to thaw Anna for Anna, not thaw Anna for Elsa. Her near-death experience made her realize that she couldn't let Anna stay frozen in what felt like death because Anna deserved life, not because Elsa wanted Anna back. Magic had to happen for other people, even though it was a personal decision/realization. Most of life's decisions, she'd discovered the hard way, had to be made for other people. And thus she let Robin go for Robin, so he didn't have to decide, so he could be happy without guilt or remorse.

"But Regina-"

"I've made my decision Robin. I'm doing this because I love you. All of you. Thank you for loving me and helping me be good. Thank you for this baby," she pressed her hand firmly to her stomach and felt a responsive kick that made her smile just a little through her tears. "And thank you for giving me a second chance. I will always love Daniel, and I will always love you, and now I have something else to love and be loved by." She rested both hands on her stomach. "As long as I have love I'll be okay. You have love too, with Marian and your son. Go be with them." She pressed a hand to his cheek. "Not all of us get second chances with first loves."

For five minutes they sat in silence, looking into each other's eyes and remembering what had been. Their Enchanted Forest annoyance that had somehow turned into flirtation. The sharing of a drink while searching Zelena's house. Their first kiss. Those stolen mini eternities outside his hotel room. Breaking the memory curse. Moving in together. Making love for the first time. Lesson Day. Roland calling her 'mummy.' Turning good. Missing one another. Finding out about the baby. This.

There was a question mark inevitably hanging in the space after 'this.' What was going to happen now? Would they really stay apart? What would happen with the baby?

"One more kiss." Robin whispered so low that the wind stole it off his lips and barely delivered it to her ear.

"Only one."

It was the most bittersweet kiss she'd ever tasted. The one before Daniel's death had been joyful, as neither had been aware of the impending doom. And of course she'd never really loved since then. But she felt her heart breaking inside her during this one, not falling apart though, as the baby's flutters kept the edges together. If only it didn't have to end.

But it did end. It ended with the voice of an angry Marian screaming, "Robin!"

**It was sad to write this. But I also felt like it was the right thing to do, especially for Regina's good side and Robin's conscience. Of course Marian finding out changes everything, doesn't it? Please leave a review! **


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm going to apologize ahead of time. This chapter will murder your feels. And you will probably be very angry with me. But if I can make you feel in such a way, then I'm a successful writer. Dare I say 'enjoy?'**

Marian kicked Robin out of their hotel room for an undetermined length of time. She had some deciding to do. Robin had yet to explain everything that had happened since her 'death' and she wasn't open to discussion after seeing his kiss with her once mortal enemy. Roland, confused and misinformed, chose to stay with his mother while Daddy 'worked some things out.' Robin had never felt more abandoned or alone. Even his Merry Men were gone, scattered through Granny's, Good Samaritan's houses, the forest, the beach, and rental boats.

Regina hated seeing him in such pain, but on bed rest in an already-crowded apartment there was little she could do. Finally she simply gifted him a house key, knowing that though her white mansion would only solidify his deep solitude, it would at least be shelter. And if Marian released Roland then he would also have a comfortable place to stay.

That wasn't to be though. Just a few nights into his lonely mansion stay he found her well-stocked liquor cabinet and eagerly sought to drown his sorrows. Eventually he became intoxicated enough to reason that he would go and find both his loves, explain to them the predicament of his heart and the three of them would find a solution. Regina and Marian were both reasonable ladies and he was a reasonable man. Roland and the yet un-named baby would also be taken into consideration.

With this plan in mind he left the house and, aware of his drunken state, attempted to signal a car to ensure his safe journey. The residents of Storybrooke were kind, generous people and he hoped someone would notice a lonely man on a curb. But he was covered in deep shadow and thus saw fit to step only slightly into the street, so that his raised hand would be more noticeable.

His raised hand wasn't noticed until it was too late. The driver, an equally intoxicated Dr. Whale, hit the brakes, but only to ensure that his accident victim was crushed between his front bumper and the back bumper of a nearby parked car. Neighbors called 911, but he was gone by the time an ambulance, Emma, and Charming arrived.

Once glance between father and daughter said everything. That man lying dead on the pavement in front of them was Regina's new happiness and the father of her unborn child. Emma silently recalled the miscarriage threat her mother had made and wondered if this would be enough.

"How are we going to tell them?" Charming asked in his quiet concern.

"You tell Marian. I've got Regina." It was time she paid her debt for bringing Marian back. Regina had told her to either shut up or do something. At the time she'd shut up. Now she was doing something.

Snow easily left the apartment with Neil, calling that they were going for a walk. Regina unsuspectingly stayed in bed, thumbing through an old baby catalog, pretending she wasn't hoping because it was old and had belonged to her step-daughter and was 'the only thing available to read' (or so she told herself).

"Regina?"

"Hm?" She didn't look up.

"I have to talk to you."

"Alright." She put the magazine on the nightstand and looked at the blonde expectantly, believing she'd hear the misadventures of Robin and Marian's reunion.

And somehow, with fragmented vocal chords, Emma broke the news to her step-grandmother, who after several moments of strong denial, broke down into the most horrific screams of pain and sadness she'd ever heard. Tears ran down her cheeks, creating rivers of mascara.

"You're lying! You have to be lying! I haven't lost another! Not again," she swallowed the curse word in a hiccup, "not again."

Charming had equal bad luck with Marian. The woman denied it strongly until he drove her to the morgue, Roland waiting with Granny back at the diner. She fainted and regained consciousness in tears. In a torrent of weeping her denial began anew, until Charming took her outside and somehow consoled her into a statue. If Roland hadn't been there she probably would've remained emotionally detached for the rest of her life.

Neither could comprehend the loss. Marian: who'd only been returned to her love for a number of weeks. Regina: who'd only been given a second chance for a number of weeks. Neither knew how to handle the other. Grief opened them up but also hardened their hearts. They wanted to share their stories, to see if had he lived a compromise would've been possible. But they also threw blame wholly. If Regina had never messed with her husband, he would've been safe in the hotel room with her. If Marian had never returned and destroyed the new relationship, he never would've been drunk and alone. The blame would not stay on the other completely though. Marian's accusations were true- if she had never permitted a relationship between herself and Robin not only would she be child-free, he also wouldn't have been alone with her liquor cabinet. If Marian hadn't kicked him out, he never would've been in the street for that car thing to hit. Robin's death consumed both of them.

**So here you are, at the end of my second-to-last chapter, balling your eyes out because yes, I am the only person in the history of the world to willingly murder half of my own ship. But it was necessary. He was too honorable to not choose Marian. He was too kind to leave Regina. So I made it easy for him. However, you might not think that. So leave a review and we shall see. God bless. **


	13. Chapter 13

**There is actually one more chapter after this. I forgot I had a 14th chapter. But both are feel-inducing and I hope you all will approve, especially after what I gave you last chapter. Enjoy?**

It was Snow that reminded them they needed to plan a funeral. Reluctantly the two women sat down.

"What do you think he would want?" Regina asked quietly, sitting across from Marian in a corner booth of Granny's. They were left almost completely alone, shrouded in black and obviously unwelcoming company. Granny herself took their orders- tea and water- and then made sure everyone else was seated as far from them as possible.

"He loved nature. Something connected with that. I don't know what this world does." And just like that they were admitting their weaknesses when it came to their relationships with Robin. Marian: who knew nothing about this world and knew little about the man Robin had become since the loss of her. Regina: who knew nothing about who Robin had been for much of his life. Perhaps there was hope for their relationship after all.

"I know he loved nature. There are two options in this world: cremation, where the body is burned and the ashes either scattered or kept, or to buy a coffin and a grave and bury him in the ground. We could cremate him and scatter his ashes in the forest and ocean but also keep some for both our families or have a burial with a grave we can visit."

"I-I don't know. I don't have much money-"

"I'll cover whatever's decided."

"No, I'm his wife-"

"But I love him so much and our baby-"

"We have a son too." She was borderline angry. "Just because you got a few weeks of his life-"

Regina's pregnant temperament wasn't particularly cool that day. "You make it sound as though I have no rights at all to his memory. He was my second chance at _everything_. If he-"

"He was my first love and my _husband_. At the least I have a legal right-"

"You were _dead_."

"You're the Evil Queen and technically a mistress."

"I love him!"

"_I _love him."

"You kicked him out!"

"You kissed a married man!"

"If you'd just listened-"

"If you'd just stayed away-"

"I'm pregnant, I needed him."

"We haven't seen each other for years."

Granny cleared her throat and set a mug of tea in front of Regina and water in front of Marian. "Is that all?"

Regina's morning sickness had passed and she suddenly felt famished, by both the argument and her grief. "A hamburger with French fries please."

Marian's face showed pure bewilderment. "What's a hamburger?"

"One of the most delicious things whoever rules upstairs has ever gifted humanity with. Robin and Roland-" she cut herself off.

"I'll take one." Marian nodded at Granny, who disappeared in confusion and shock. Hadn't they just been quarreling? "Alright. You believe you're entitled."

"And you believe you're entitled."

"As the law is a confusing thing, I'll let you be partially entitled so long as I am partially entitled."

"That seems fair. We also both have a child from him."

"Yes. In the future, what would you prefer to be able to do with your child? Explain the ashes thing or show them a grave?"

She thought of all the burials she'd been a part of and swallowed tears. She didn't want a memory like that. Standing over a grave, holding a swollen belly, sticking Robin in a box in a hole. But how could she burn him and scatter him to never be found again?

"What do you want?"

"I don't know either."

They stayed in silent consideration until Granny brought their burgers and Regina taught Marian how to eat it. For a few forgetful minutes they laughed. It was heartbreaking. And fulfilling.

**So Marian isn't completely bad. But what do you think? I know the chapter's short, but you can still be argumentative about it. Review please. God bless.**


	14. Chapter 14

**This is it my minions. Last chapter. You have been sustained through the hiatus and I have broken your feels and it is over. Now please read this, for the last time.**

In the end they settled on cremation. A memorial service was held in the church and then Regina and Marian split the ashes between themselves, one going to the forest and the other going to the sea. The attendees chose whichever to go to. Both women secretly kept a handful. Regina put hers in a box (like her collection of hearts) under her bed. Marian chose a small glass jar for her bedside table.

Regina gave birth to a healthy, happy baby girl right on time. Snow was with her while Charming, Emma and Henry waited outside the room. Henry snuck away to notify Marian and Roland, who promised to come when Henry called and it said it was okay.

They named her Robyn Hope Mills. She had Robin's blue-gray eyes with a brown ring around the outside from Regina and Regina's dark hair with natural highlights from Robin's lighter brunette locks. Her hair held a natural curl that could be attributed to both parents. She was the most beautiful creature Regina had ever laid eyes on. The woman fell totally and completely in love, more so than she'd ever been before with Daniel or Robin.

Marian never became her friend, but they were comfortable with one another. In Robin's memory they allowed their children to play together as friends/half-siblings.

Elsa and Anna lived in Hans old home while Hans stayed in prison for attempted manslaughter. They often played babysitter, welcoming little Neil, Roland and Robyn into their home so the adults could relax. The children loved Elsa's magic, taking winter coats with them even in the summer so that they could build snowmen and make snow angels in the sisters' living room. It was five-year-old Neil, another product of true love, who made his snowman talk. Anna christened him Olaf, Elsa provided a mini cloud and the boy had a friend for the rest of his life. Roland and Robyn begged for their own but Marian was wary of magic and Regina didn't like talking things without a brain.

The children didn't grow up in perfect peace, but they did have perfect memories. Marian eventually remarried Little John; a man who'd always made her laugh and played wonderfully with Roland. He was gifted with a little brother from the union and the family lived happily ever after.

Regina never remarried. Too much grief had visited her doorstep and she was finally content anyways. Henry was an excellent big brother, shuttled between Neil and Robyn. Her daughter grew up happier than Regina ever could've imagined or hoped; bringing life to the white mansion that hadn't been found since Henry's younger days. And though the former Evil Queen had always disbelieved in the true happiness of 'fairy tales,' suspicious of their "happily ever after" endings, that's exactly what she got. When her daughter told her such, she bit back a "don't," smiled and agreed. Because though it was nowhere close to the life she'd imaged, it was happy and hopeful. And with love, that happiness (and hope) really would continue 'ever after.'

**I hope you're happy. I know I didn't bring Robin back, but I never planned to, though many of you begged. I almost gave in, but I didn't. I killed him for mercy and I extended grace to both of the women he left behind and their families. Hopefully you're somewhat pleased. It's a fluffy ending, though not in a stereotypical way. Please review. Thanks for sticking with me through this Frozen- Outlaw Queen roller coaster. God bless.**


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